I can’t always get my head around being a thirty-something. I still feel like a scared 19-year-old kid inside, but I guess I am older and hopefully wiser. Even so, sometimes I feel bad that I don’t have everything ‘together’. There are so many supposed milestones in a person’s life that I haven’t yet reached. I never learned to drive, I’m not married and I haven’t bought a house. I’m not established in my career and I’m not even particularly confident.
There’s a defiant part of me that’s thinks, so what I don’t give a damn, and another more fragile part that thinks uh-oh I’m a failure! I suppose my true feelings lie somewhere in the middle. I have to remember all of the adversities that I have come through. I’m doing the best I can, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still be a work in progress!
There could be endless comparisons to other people if I really wanted to torture myself. For example, my high school bully is now married with a couple of kids. But that small window into her life doesn’t really tell me all that much. Having the house, car and kids doesn’t mean someone can’t still suffer, or feel lonely. We all have our challenges.
There’s no point trying to live up to some ideal that doesn’t really mean anything. What really matters are the good things in your life, and the things to be thankful for here and now.
It can be hard when the people around you lack empathy for your situation. There have been plenty of times I’ve felt hurt when a family member has been judgemental and hasn’t understood my daily battles with anxiety. But when I think about it, it comes from a place of ignorance not truth.
What I’m trying to say here is that we all have value. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t done x,y or z – only that you’re still here doing the best you can! It takes real strength and courage to do that while you’re suffering.
So, for anyone that needs it (me included):
“Success is the result of moving forward. Concentrate on that fact, regardless of how slow or fast, how poorly or well things seem to be going. If you are moving forward, you are succeeding.” Richelle E. Goodrich