I had a little break from my blog over Christmas, I blinked, and now it’s February. That’s how it feels anyway.
At the start of January I had some building work done in my house and this ended up triggering an big anxious episode. My home is my safe space, so having a stranger here for three weeks ended up making me ill. I decided that I’d cope with the situation by going out a lot. Problem was, I wasn’t getting enough sleep, so I felt absolutely exhausted and didn’t have the energy to do anything or go very far.
I couldn’t really take the time I needed to rest, as the builder was there – banging around and coming and going through the house. The more tired I got, the more anxious I was about getting enough sleep. And of course, because I was so wired, I was finding it almost impossible to switch off and get some sleep. I spent hours just lying there in bed in a cold sweat. After a tearful conversation with my friend, she really helped me out and let me stay at her place from time to time, so I at least got some respite from the situation.
Surviving on very little sleep is tough when you have a chronic illness. I ended having a flareup and some lovely new symptoms including tension headaches, and pins and needles in my arms. The effects of stress and anxiety on the body shouldn’t be underestimated, it can make you feel very unwell indeed. All the more reason to take the time to look after yourself.
I’m trying not to let the experience get me down too much, even though it’s hard to accept that I get so anxious about things that others might not give a second thought. But I’m reminding myself that even though it was hard; I got through it. Setbacks happen.
If you’re going through a difficult time and feel like it will never end, remember that it will eventually pass, and better times will follow.
I spend a lot of time searching for little nuggets of wisdom and while I was feeling so rough, I heard something on a podcast that stuck with me. It was this: a breakdown can often lead to a breakthrough. Sometimes you need to reach that low point so you can learn from it and make the realisations you need to get better.
So, I haven’t given up, I’ll continue to blog and hope that people are reading and getting something positive from it. If you are still reading, I hope you’re having a peaceful February.